Christians are big on forgiveness. Sometimes I hear things like "I can forgive but I can't forget". Truth be told, I am not big on either forgiving or forgetting, especially when the hurt cuts very very deep. There are only two people in the world that hurt us so badly I will never forgive them and I (God help me) even wish on them a portion of the agony that they inflicted on us. The pain, even after eight years, is still so great I can barely think about it.
But I do believe that if the motivation is there and the relationship is worth salvaging and you can't imagine going through life without someone in it, we can get past most things.
The Big Hurt can happen when someone cuts you to your very deepest core, belittles the things you hold most dear, or trivializes your struggles. It hurts even worse if you have trusted that someone with your biggest fears or most intimate emotions.
I blogged awhile back about the Hatfields and the McCoys. It's the story of how the closest of friends turned smallish (but one could argue valid) slights, disagreements or injustices into a feud that morphed into hatred and murder. How silly their generational altercation seems in retrospect. How much suffering did they have to endure to maintain their prideful and unyielding sense of "we're right"?
I, of course, will never forgive the people that administered my own Big Hurt. But perhaps there are some stronger folks out there who will take the first step to repairing their damaged relationships.
Hope so...
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