The real ten plagues include things like lice, vermin, boils and hail (poo-poo-poo).
The ten plagues of this South Florida Retiree are:
10. I'm out of diet cream soda
9. It's too overcast to sit by the pool
8. My snowbird friends are going home for the summer
7. I'm #34 in line for a best seller and the library has 2 copies
6. The skin doctor can't see me 'til Thursday
5. Gas is over $4.00 a gallon!
4. They don't need me back at work (actually they do)
3. My farshtunkena U-verse contract is not up until August
2. The maid is not coming
And the Number One Plague is
1. Actually there is no maid :'-(
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