A Perfect Day

I'm still dashing off a line or two every day to "Oh Life", the journaling app that records my daily activities much the way Dear Diary did in my teens. On the majority of days I feel the urge to end with "a perfect day!"

So what makes a perfect day at this stage of my life?  Any combination of the following:

A bagel at the Brooklyn Water Bagel or coffee and the paper at home
Something on the BBQ
A favorite show on TV
A great movie arriving from Netflix
Seeing my friends via Facebook
A call from a friend or the kids
A happy number on the scale
An hour by or in the pool
A long ride in the golf cart
A casual dinner out
An invite to play Maj Jong
A great find while shopping
An afternoon nap
Wearing shorts, a tank top and flip-flops
A super new best selling book, especially if it comes for free
A fun activity with the Royal Oak neighbors (like tonight)
An outdoor craft fair or The Market of Marion
Live evening entertainment in one of the Town Squares
An "I Love You" at the end of the day

Perfect!

;-)

Under The Covers

Driving in Love Bug Season
 

The Villages tries really hard to project the same image as Disney World - a special, magical, happy place filled with smiling and friendly people living perfect lives. Guess what? That is 98% TRUE! The Villages is truly a slice of Paradise and well deserves the descriptions of "life in the bubble" and "Disney World for retirees". There are so many great things about The Villages that I will probably have rosy reports on my blog for years to come.

But come on, we all know there is so such thing as perfection. So here's a peek "under the covers".

Sinkholes. They can be found throughout Central Florida but can be a Big Surprise to those flocking down here from frigid northern climes who have never heard of them before . Fortunately they are rare and usually minor and The Villages is far from the worst place they chose to spawn. But they are scary and insurance for them is very hard or impossible to come by. Being from South Florida and having to face hurricane season each year, it's just another day in Paradise for me.

Love Bug Season. Love bugs can fill the air and create a yucky mess on your car. They are unheard of in South Florida, choosing to live and procreate in Central Florida and along the Treasure Coast. Luckily these icky creatures appear for only a two week span once or twice a year when they hear the calling to perform their odd mating ritual (and subsequently die). One must quickly egress from one's house and car to avoid them infiltrating your living spaces. I am NOT looking forward to this.

Lack of a Mall. One must travel to Ocala for many of the stores commonly found in malls and to Orlando for the Super Mall. Luckily I am not a big shopper of Victoria's Secret or Urban Outfitters merchandise. Still, it would be nice to have one a little closer.

Lack of Costco. There's a Sam's Club which I find a sorry substitute for Costco. But seriously, how many giant boxes of cereal can I really use?

;-)

Yay Me!

Sometimes, late at night, I let my mind wander to dark places and I remember - with horror - stupid things I've done or said. The overwhelming majority of those are in the far, far distant past and, as cousin Larry posted on Facebook yesterday, "To be old and wise one must first be young and stupid".  But last night, before I drifted off to sleep, I let myself remember a few of the GOOD things I've done that I'm proud of. I went to sleep with a smile on my face and feeling much better about me. Here's a sample:

I graduated in the top ten percent of my high school class. I found, applied for and received a full scholarship to college where I carried a heavy course load and graduated in two years and 8 months.

I survived three years on a tractor trailer criss-crossing the country (it was tough). I learned that a shower and a bed are luxuries not to be taken for granted. I "reinvented" myself when I went back to school for computer classes and became a programmer. I had the chutzpah a few years later to apply for and get a supervisory position that I was less than completely qualified for and worked hard to be super successful.

I was never afraid to take a chance in my career and that paid off with promotions and better opportunities. Same thing about moving to Florida, it took guts to leave our "safe" jobs for who-knows-what.

After a chubby childhood and not-quite-skinny teenage years I have stayed slim in adulthood by watching the scale and taking corrective action as needed. No gimmicky diets and no deprivation either.

I've been good about saving for retirement and living within my means and I have no bad habits or neuroses that would necessitate visits to mental health care providers.

I supported hubby in all of his endeavors and ups-and-downs. His thanks and enthusiastic praise for my efforts mean the world to me.

I retired "at the top of my game" with assurances that I would be greatly missed. And I consider my beautiful new home an accomplishment too. Of all the places we've bought, sold or rented, this one feels most like "I'm home".

Truly amazing people have entered my life and decided they love me and chose to stay for a lifetime. I must really be a terrific person for them to want to give me so much more than I have ever given them.

Yay Me!

Plan B

When I was in high school my folks encouraged me to take typing and shorthand. This was so I "would have something to fall back on" in case I did not complete college and attain the highest professional goal for a woman - elementary school teacher. I'm guessing the scenario they feared was that some good looking scamp - in a uniform or on a motorcycle - would whisper "come away with me" and I would immediately forget all plans for a degree and every other sane thought as well.

The "fall back" plan was to gain the ability to transcribe what was said by someone important (that is, a man) into squiggly lines from which I could regurgitate a neatly typed letter at about 80 words per minute. If I couldn't be a teacher maybe I could be a secretary which was not as good but at least I would be working in an office and not on my feet all day waiting tables or cutting hair. It's hard to believe but this pretty much summed up most career options for women about 50 years ago.

When I retired two years ago I was a Director of Systems and Programming, a job that did not exist or could even be imagined when I was in high school. It was a perfect fit for me and I loved designing and implementing claims processing, prescription eligibility and fulfillment, police, fire, utility billing, legal, purchasing, financial and any other kind of large information technology application. I never did learn how to write shorthand or type 80 words a minute or wait tables or cut hair and I never inflicted myself on impressionable elementary school children.

Oh and I never ran off with a good looking scamp in a uniform either...

;-) 

Odd Thomas

*spoiler alert*

Netflix has promised that Odd Thomas (the movie) will arrive later this afternoon. 

The first Odd Thomas (the book) was a can't-put-it-down-up-all-night read but was followed by a succession of sequels that I couldn't even finish. When Odd lost the-love-of-his-life he seemed (at least to me) to lose his way and end up in a quagmire of unfulfilling days with uninteresting people and plots with little direction.

I guess that's how it is in real life too. We'd like to think we are strong and independent and could survive perfectly well on our own. But I suspect it is the very special people around us - our personal cast of supporting characters - that give us purpose, direction and raison d'etre.

I hope the movie is as good as the (first) book...

;-)

Me Plus Five

I glanced over hubby's shoulder and saw that his students had a fun assignment this week: Develop a one-to-two-page vision statement that provides a picture or a snapshot of what your life will look like in five years.  How strange I thought; I had written a post on March 30th called Me Minus Five  but had totally spaced on projecting my future. I'm at the age now when looking backwards just seems to hold more content than the future. Since it is unlikely I will live to 128, that is just realistic. But a glance at hubby's computer reminded me that I too can still have a vision statement.

I couldn't have imagined many of the events of the last five years so looking forward is challenging, even though I am probably at the most "settled" time of my life. Life is a roller coaster but not just one that goes up and down. Life goes around scary curves and into dark tunnels and sometimes you think you are going to fall off. Most of the time you're laughing - that is when you're not screaming hahaha.

Me plus five? I pray we are still both happy and healthy. I hope lots of people here in The Villages know me and like me. I hope we are still financially on track and people I care about are still with me. I hope the old live oak still shades the house and no sinkhole pops up. I hope every day is fun and interesting and I drive the golf cart as much as I drive the car.  I hope my jeans still fit and the new wrinkles are all from laughing.

;-)

The Maid

The maid arrives every day just as I have finished my morning coffee. She always knows just what I'd like done that day - laundry, vacuuming, dusting (although she hates it), cleaning the bathrooms, doing the dishes, whatever. She knows exactly how I like the clothes hung and how everything needs to be folded on the shelves and how the shoes and handbags are organized. When she does dust, all the knick-knacks are put back in their exact right places and the pictures are still straight on the walls.  She is also willing to do other work, whatever I need done. She'll pull weeds, or sweep the lanai and front walkway and the garage, or clean the BBQ, or sew a hem or a button. 

I must admit, sometimes she seems a little grumpy about these chores but often times I hear her singing a little tune. Today it was an off-key rendition of Hashkiveinu and Baby The Rain Must Fall.

When she decides she's had enough she leaves. The house is neat and pretty clean, although not perfect. As my mother always said about herself, she gave it "a lick and a promise". I guess that's my maid's philosophy as well.

I've had the same maid for almost 45 years now. Sometimes I think she might be slowing down and I should get her some help. But I kind of like her and she still seems to be happy to take care of my house.

I'll keep going as long as I can!

;-)

Six Months

I almost let yesterday slip by without commemorating the fact that it marked six months since we piled into the cars and left South Florida for our retirement mecca in The Villages. I guess I was too busy having lunch with the neighborhood ladies while hubby was prepping for the evening Men's Discussion Group, hahaha.

With the house finally finished (still awaiting gutter guard installation) and in possession of a golf cart, new library cards, drivers licenses, bills for local utilities, and memberships in the Royal Oak neighborhood club, the Lunch Bunch and Red Hats, Temple Shalom, the Sisterhood, Hadassah and the Borscht Belt club, I can say we are at last truly Villagers. My social calendar is so much fuller than it ever was in Hollywood, just what I was hoping for.

I do miss a few friends and my snowbird cousins. I will take a breath today and call them all. I'll see Jen next month when hubby has a conference in Atlanta and of course Scott and family will be here in June when we get back from Toronto and a family simcha. The next six months look equally exciting!

I am so happy I could burst! But as my BFF would have said: poo-poo-poo, don't tempt fate.

Heart The Villages!

;-)

I Was Wrong

I had an internal (and external) hyssy fit about replacing the like-new white kitchen appliances with state-of-the-art stainless ones but now I reluctantly admit it: I was wrong. It is true I had to rearrange and augment my tchatchkes and add a little more black to the mix but I do like the finished product.

My new kitchen decor features a "French Chef" motif which is a popular design that I already loved and owned a few items. It is always done in black, red, cream and a little gold which works perfectly with my existing items. A big French Chef calendar (ordered from Amazon) nicely covers the gray side of the humongous new refrigerator and a "Bon Appetit" sign (Big Lots, $10.) above the new pro-style range looks terrific. As you know, Dear Diary, French things are some of my favorites (see C'est Si Bon).

It is OK to admit you were wrong. Hopefully the worst thing I am ever wrong about will be kitchen appliances or something else easily remedied by shopping.

Bon Appetit!

;-)
 

Numbers

I never liked Math in school but I must admit, I do like numbers. Numbers seem to make order of chaos and reduce all the noise in the world into neat, manageable packets. So I was happy to see this set of figures released on the Internet today.

I like the idea of having a snapshot view of everything most people would agree on as important. How easy they make it to see if things are getting better or worse - at least if you don't peek too closely under the covers! I think I would have added deaths from cancer and military engagements, the consumer confidence index and overall life expectancy to this list.

I of course track numbers closely in my own small world.  Checkbook balance. Net worth. Weight. Vital health statistics. Days until the next big event.

But like the chart says, no single number can tell the whole story. I can however put my happiness level on a scale of one to ten. A ten for sure!

;-)

Blueberry Festival

What a wonderful day yesterday in historic Brooksville Florida at their annual Blueberry Festival with friends June and her husband Kay. Ever hear of Brooksville? Me neither. But this little gem of a town is located about an hour from The Villages and boasts a quaint and charming hometown vibe in addition to being the County seat of Hernando County. It was nicely packed with happy people and vendors selling their wares - including all things blueberry. Volunteers from the local churches made a little money charging for parking in their lots. There were small children who entertained us by doing their obviously well rehearsed dance routines and young ladies dressed as "Blueberry Girls" and funky musicians playing outside City Hall. The Festival was set in the blocked off streets of downtown Brooksville (population: less than 10,000) and I got a glimpse of small town life from the businesses and eateries that lined the streets. The local VFW sold icy cold drinks for $1 as we trekked back to our car.

I love going to open air art shows and fairs. They seem to bring me back to a gentler time when entertainment was not on TV or DVDs and everyone was not glued to their smartphone (guilty as charged!)  I imagine the same festival being held a century ago...

Fresh air, sunshine, good friends and funnel cakes. A perfect day.

;-)

House Blessing

On the way to Aldi's and Winn-Dixie yesterday we spotted an "Estate Sale" sign just a few blocks from our house. I had never been to an estate sale but my late BFF used to love them. Of course she loved shopping in any form, hahaha.

How strange and sad to see an entire lifetime of collections, books, memories and furniture offered up for sale. From the smallest of cooking utensils to what must have been treasured possessions, there was everything they owned laid bare. You could see the story of people who once travelled the world but who must have slowed considerably when the handicapped ramps were added to the house.

Although the owners were most likely Cuban Christians there was a a framed House Blessing hanging on the wall, a print done in Hebrew micro-calligraphy and signed by the artist with a short explanation. The artist lives in Israel (I googled her) but how amazing! She went to my university Alma Mater and probably lived close to me growing up. I hesitate to mention how little I paid for this treasure but I assure you, it will continue to bless my house for many years to come.

;-)

Some Like It Hot

The weather has finally turned warmer here in The Villages and is now at a point where I am finally in my element. The long-sleeved denim shirts and blue jeans are abandoned in favor of my favorites: shorts, tank tops and flip-flops (of which I have oodles).

I love it when it's hot and I truly did not expect it to be so much cooler only 250 miles north of Hollywood. I actually experienced a "change of seasons" for the first time in years.

They say Central Florida will be hot and humid in the summer, more so to me because there will not be the cooling ocean breezes that I'm used to. There is also the dreaded upcoming "love bug" season which no one talks about but I bet will be quite challenging. Let's face it, there is something unpleasant that can be said about any location...

In the meantime, I'll enjoy wiggling my toes and feeling the sun on my shoulders!

;-)

Red Hats

Many years ago I read this poem by English poet Jenny Joseph:

Warning (1961)
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I find myself now old(er) and a member of the group that was inspired by the second line of the poem, the Red Hat Society  which is sort of like the Girl Scouts for us mature ladies (although it is officially open to women of all ages). My chapter is the Royal Oak chapter and is made up of my neighbors. Unlike the Royal Oak Lunch Bunch that just tries different restaurants (nothing wrong with that) this group plans fun activities like a day trip to a museum or a hayride.

Jenny Joseph was not yet 30 when she wrote "Warning" and I was probably about that age when I read it for the first time. Probably like her, I could not imagaine myself as "an old woman". I certainly had no intention (nor do I now) of spending my hard earned pension on "brandy and summer gloves" but I do plan to have a great time with my new lady friends!

;-)

“

”

 

Kabbalah

I read this silly headline that Jennifer Aniston might be the next in a list of Hollywood types to take up the study of Kabbalah, Jewish Mysticism. Although I have had a lifelong commitment to all things Jewish, I know almost nothing about Kabbalah and have had only these three small brushes with it:

I once asked my father what Kabbalah was. "Oh" he replied "one cannot study Kabbalah unless one has studied the Torah, the Talmud, the Mishnah and all the Commentaries. One must have attained a high level of maturity, age and wisdom to even begin to grasp Kabbalah." Being a teenager at the time and having attained neither age, maturity nor wisdom, I quickly forgot all about Kabbalah.

A few years ago I was in a class with the Rabbi from my last Temple. The question of Kabbalah came up and he said that while he would not actually teach Kabbalah, he would attempt to explain the kind of study it entailed. He then proceeded to speak for an hour about the letter Aleph, the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Why was it the first letter? What did the other letters in the name "Aleph" mean?  What was the numerical value of all the letters in "Aleph"? What was its relationship to the Name of the Holy One? I got the idea that the study of Kaballah would be dry and boring.

One day I took out "Kabbalah for Dummies" from the library. I found it to be a simplified  explanation of Jewish rituals like lighting candles on Shabbos and holding a Seder. I learned nothing that might "transform my life" between its covers.

Even I am not so much of a Dummy to think I can dabble in Kabbalah and ferret out its mysteries...

;-)

The Liberators

Liberation is a bronze Holocaust memorial created by the sculptor Nathan Rapoport, located in Liberty State Park in Jersey City, New Jersey. The monument portrays an American soldier, carrying the body of a Holocaust survivor out of a Nazi concentration camp

One of the very best things about life in The Villages is that almost EVERYTHING is celebrated or marked for remembrance. No occasion of any importance is forgotten and folks here have the time and desire to stop and "smell the roses". Last Sunday was "Welcome Home Vietnam Veterans Day" and you can bet they were more than welcomed back here in The Villages with an event in the Veteran's Memorial Park.

It warms my heart to see what is planned for Holocaust Remembrance Day. Four WWII US Army Liberators who were at Buchenwald, Dachau and who witnessed the Gardelegen Massacre of Jews and Christian political prisoners and POWs will be speaking at St Timothy's Catholic Church (a gargantuan edifice that holds thousands). Given the ages of the speakers, this may truly be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn from these Heroes.

Sometimes stopping and smelling the roses means stopping to remember the weeds and thorns that are also part of life.

:-/

Lay Leaders

Sheldon Skurow, Spiritual Leader of Temple Shalom

What has kept the Jewish religion alive and thriving even after millenniums of persecution and pogroms? One thing is the ability of Jews everywhere to worship without a building or a Rabbi. Even the most Orthodox among us require only ten Jewish men for a service and in Reform congregations Jewish women are counted as well. The Villages' Temple Shalom has grown to over 700 members but still relies on our Lay Leader, one of the founding members, to conduct the services.

I had never heard of a Lay Leader until a few years ago and I certainly would not have imagined such a large congregation relying on one for all spiritual and ritual activities. Yet, like every other Temple Shalom congregant, I fear the day when our Spiritual Leader, Sheldon, chooses to step down from the Bema and turn the reins of leadership to someone else. He is primarily a Cantor, leaving weekly sermons (actually commentaries on the weekly Parsha) to various members of the congregation who all do a fabulous job. His love of the services and the songs is oh-so-evident. You can see he relishes his "job".

But he is not the only Lay Leader that keeps our Temple going. There are so many beautiful voices in the choir and many of them could conduct the service themselves I'm sure. We also have several members who can read the Torah (even women!) which is unusual as I hear other congregations struggle to find even one.

Like many others, Sheldon started down the path to Lay Leader during his service in the military.  Due to the unavailability of a Rabbi, he led religious services aboard the USS Coral Sea and the USS Randolph. How I admire anyone who will step up to serve the needs of our military personnel and their families at a time in their lives when they probably need it the most.

Thank you Sheldon.  May you have many more years on the Bema.

;-)