I Knew It!

Exercise can be bad for you!  This stunning article from the New York Times states that in some cases folks who exercised actually got worse in at least one of the measures related to heart disease: blood pressure, insulin levels, HDL cholesterol and/or triglycerides. 

OK I admit it.  I have never, ever - at least since my college P.E. class - engaged in regular, "gym quality", aerobic exercise. 

I mean, why risk it?!? 

;-)

The Hatfields and The McCoys

I'm watching this series on the History Channel. 

What turned men who fought alongside each other in the Civil War and who saved each other's lives to vow to wipe out each other's families with ever increasing violence and hatred?

Small things. Misunderstandings and feelings that whatever went wrong was the other guy's fault.  So easily avoided if we step back, chill out  and remember the "good stuff".

I am waiting for the last episode tonight.  Wake up guys, come to your senses!  But come to think of it, we don't hear much about any living Hatfields and McCoys these days do we??

:-(





 

The PBS Memorial Day Concert

     A great annual tradition in the Gold household!  God Bless Them All! 

My Soundtrack

There is an expression - "the soundtrack of our lives".  I am definitely not a huge music fan but over the years there have been songs that gave me inspiration, encouragement or just got my juices flowing ;-)

On my wedding day, I sat on the front porch day-dreaming with Neil Diamond's Cracklin' Rosie.

When I was just starting my career in IT I'd get motivated with Bruce Springsteen's Hungry Heart.

In the 80s, when I faced obstacles at work I would crank up Crowded House's Don't Dream It's Over  for encouragement to go into "battle".

When I prayed for a friend there was Jeff Buckley helping me with Hallelujah.

Of course none of these songs were about anything at all to do with what I was going through at the time but somehow their words and melodies were spot-on.

Today there's Kelly Clarkson's Stronger  (as in whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger).  Yep, definitely my new theme song ;-)

Dying Young

We all know death is inevitable.  It is something that happens to old people, people who have "had a good, long life" and left the world with a string of accomplishments and/or progeny. 

I was rather unaffected when my grandparents died in the 70s and even accepting when my dear parents passed away at 84 and 89.  But I felt something different when my best friend, someone I had loved and shared my life with since I was 16, passed away.  It hit me in a different way: how short life is!  How very few are our days, our opportunities to fulfill our dreams and to cherish our loved ones.  Stopping to smell the roses held new meaning.

Tonight I will say Kaddish for a young person, only 26.  I did not know her personally but I know she brought joy to the lives of others.  A lifetime of possibilities awaited her. 

May her memory be a blessing.

Why Complicate Life?

Most things are just not that complicated.  What you see is usually what you get.  If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck chances are it really is a duck.  

More words of wisdom can be found on Facebook like this right-on picture posted by a FB friend who posts them by the dozen.  This one hit home today -->

I uncomplicated my life today.  I wanted to hear something said so I asked for it.  Something I had said to another wasn't understood the way I had intended it so I explained.  I missed someone so I called.  I had questions so I asked. And of course I never miss the chance to say I love you!
;-)

The Gateway

Yesterday gal-pal Terri and I saw "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" at the venerable Gateway Theater in Fort Lauderdale.  Not an 18 screen or IMAX marvel, or a huge mall Cineplex, no, the Gateway caters to those movie-goers whose tastes run to Foreign Film Festival and Independent offerings. Of course it will also feature the latest blockbusters, just to pay the rent I'm sure. 

The Gateway is a jewel in an older, upscale, quirky part of town that is frequented by gay couples, over-educated college graduates and women-of-a-certain-age out on the town together (such as Terri and I).  The theater has a coziness, warmth and charm all its own and incidentally, the best popcorn ever created. 

Aptly named, the Gateway is truly a portal to another time.

Armed Forces

Last Saturday was Armed Forces Day and Memorial Day will be celebrated on May 28th.  I watch the PBS Memorial Day Concert every year with tears in my eyes and my charity dollars go to disabled and paralyzed veterans (God Bless Them).  Even in the Viet Nam war years (and subsequent similar actions) when I was horribly conflicted about what-the-hell-were-we-doing-there, I strongly supported our military.  In my opinion there are few, if any, higher callings.

I think seeing my future husband in his University of Illinois ROTC uniform and envisioning a glorious future of travel, adventure and financial security quickened my girlish heartbeat.  I am happy he never became 2nd Lieutenant cannon-fodder in Viet Nam but to this day I wish my life would have included being a military wife.  I am not sure why because Lord knows, it is not an easy life and the separations can be brutal. 

The rabbi mentioned in Torah study class that military personnel have preference over all others in some Jewish practices or laws.  Rightly so, I believe.  They are ones who sacrifice to protect us all. 

A young Facebook friend asked for prayers today for her husband who just arrived in Afghanistan.  God Bless him and all our service men and women (and our service K-9s too!)

Losing a Loved One

Facebook pal Adrianne (a sweetheart) wrote today that her fiance Ken has passed away from a heart attack.  I believe this was very sudden as she gave no indication of his being in poor health.  I am verklempt at this and another sad story that has gripped my emotions.

On December 21, 2011, I blogged a piece called "Second Act".  I talked about how happy it made me to see Adrianne's new engagement ring on her well worn hand.  A symbol of New Beginnings, even in the autumn of our years.

The loves in our life are not perfect but of course, neither are we.  Their smile warms our hearts, their laugh is the most beautiful sound, and we marvel at their unwavering support whether we are right or wrong, happy or sad, richer or poorer.  Everyone we love, or have loved in the past, is unique, irreplaceable, and holds a special place in our heart no matter how our "relationship" is defined by society or even by us.

a sad day....

The Good Father

I am reading (listening to) The Good Father, the second novel I've read this month whose theme is a father's perspective of events when his son commits a heinous crime.  Just coincidence...

This wayward lad's crime is to shoot and kill a beloved Presidential candidate.  An interesting twist on the story is that the father intersperses the history and psychological analysis of similar, non-fiction events - the Robert Kennedy assassination, the attempt on the life of Ronald Reagan, the Clock Tower massacre at Austin Texas and other unfortunate events.  What caused the perpetrators  to cross the line from sanity to insanity?  From "normal" (albeit quirky) to deranged?

Do we all harbor a psychotic gene just waiting for the wrong set of circumstances to push us over the edge?  Scary!  But it makes for a very interesting story...

Thank you Noah Hawley. 

I Told You So

Remember when I told you that J C Penney's new "one low price" strategy would never work because we ladies (their top customers) love the thrill of shopping the sales and scoring a big bargain is the only way many of us feel justified in buying anything?  It made for a nice blog topic four months ago on January 28, 2012 which I called "The Hunt".

Now comes word that J C Penney's earnings have plummeted 19% causing all kinds of havoc with their stock, their dividends (now scrapped) and (hopefully) with their CEO's future.

The most wonderful words anyone can hear from another are "I Love You".  But the most bestest, funnest, put-a-smile-on-your-face words one can say are "I TOLD YOU SO!"

;-)

Who ARE Those People?

I'll watch a video of folks who are younger than me (like I did today) and wonder "do I look like that??"   They look so old!  They are so dumpy looking.  They are wearing polyester stretch pants and silly blouses. They have jowls. Or else they are trying so hard to look younger.  OY!

When did I get to be old?  I feel young.  I think I look good (but suspect I am delusional).  When did those sneaky gray hairs start to require periodic doses of ColorSilk?  When did I start stashing pairs of reading glasses in every room of the house?  When did some of the latest fashions start to look ridiculous on me? When did sunken cheeks change my adorable round-moon face to heart shaped? When did that little twinge in my sciatica start?  And when did I start thinking more about the past than I do about the future?

Forget "Who are THOSE People?"  Who the heck is that person in the mirror?

;-D

The Joy of Not Working

When I was working and folks would ask me why I don't retire I'd counter with "what would I do all day?"  The answer was always "whatever you want".  This was not very satisfying because I translated it to mean " absolutely nothing" and complete boredom. 

Wow!  Now I see the light!  It is a strange and beautiful feeling to be able to do "whatever I want" and do it almost "whenever I want".  When I think about it, I have never in my life been so free from the alarm clock, from having to squeeze in errands and personal time, from having to be somewhere at a specific time, from spending weekends "catching up" and just plain obligations in general. 

I can stop by the grocery whenever I notice we are out of something rather than try to stock up for a week.  I can walk Dolly a little longer without waiting impatiently for her to do her business.  I can take an afternoon nap or lounge by the pool or surf the net or just "patschke" (my mother's favorite time waster which consists of wandering from room to room finding stuff that needs doing).

In My Humble Opinion, there is no way working - even at a job you "love" and one which brings you "satisfaction" - can beat the Joy of Not Working!

;-D

Shopping In My Closet

One of those sage bits-of-wisdom from our mothers was to "shop in your own closet".  What this translated to was "you probably have so much stuff you've forgotten about that if you look it will seem brand new to you". 

Since I've had more time of late to rummage through drawers, I've discovered a pile of long forgotten trinkets and tschatske.  Cool stuff like earrings that I used to love and would now be perfect with my latest acquisitions.  A bracelet that I just had to have twenty years ago - so much so that I spent $45.00 on myself, an unheard of phenomena at the time.  Genuine "vintage" clothes that of course were not so vintage when I bought them new (or gently worn). Enough lipstick to last me for years.

In a way shopping in my own closet is a trip down memory lane.  But best of all, the person who stocked my closet had most excellent taste!

;-D

Ode To A Jewish Mother

The Rabbi recited this poem at services last night.  Too Good not to share!

Happy Mother's Day in Heaven, my Yiddisha Mama.  I love you and miss you.

Ode to a Jewish Mama

By Phyllis Gardner

 

Forced to confess, under harsh interrogation
Whilst receiving in Ohio my college education
That I dated, and not on infrequent occasion
Assorted young men of the Christian persuasion

Emergency measures were quickly proclaimed
Plans based on the time honored theory, ingrained
That a nice Jewish girl and a nice Jewish boy
Sail smoother through marriage than a Jew and a goy

So Mama, whilst preaching Judaic tradition
Sent her sole conceived daughter on a one sighted mission
She, perusing my options for optimal contact
I, finally consenting, if she’d but get off my back
That I’d check out her plum, the pick of the berries
La crème de la crème - the Medical Library!
“One visit,” I promised, “All or nothing,” I said
As visions of matrimony danced in her head
“And make sure that he’s Jewish,” warned Mama sans tact
“Knowing you, you’ll latch on to a goyishe quack!”

So – equipped with my textbooks and bodily diversions
I set out to trap me a promising surgeon
I enter the sanctum and sit by the aisle
Surreptitiously sorting Jew from gentile
Perusing the pickings and the lay of the land
Awaiting profferance of a gold wedding band
But the boys study on, unaware of my plight
And I sit all alone as day turns into night
Til I finally decide, Jewish doctor or not
I’ll date whom I please, and the heck with mom’s plot!

So I march towards the exit, not giving a hoot
When I note with surprise a young man in pursuit!
My instincts in action, I slow down my pace
We collide at the door; we turn face to face

”Excuse me,” says he, “No, my fault,” murmur I
“But, oy vey, you hit hard!” (that’s the old college try)
“Oy vey?” he exclaims (all the Yiddish I know)
“You mean there’s a Jewish girl here in Ohio?”
Well, that’s how it started
Mom thinks it’s grand ‘bout the new diamond ring that I sport on my hand
So Mama is happy and no one can mock her
Cause I landed one heck of a “gantser k-nocker”
Translation: a “big shot”, I’m no concoctor – as in
What could be better than a nice Jewish doctor?

Phyllis Okin Gardner
All true, except I never married him
Written my senior year at Ohio State, 1971
In honor of my mom, Regina Graf Okin,
who was never pushy, really

Mother's Day

Sunday is Mother's Day so mushy stuff abounds.  Old friend Elaine posted this on Facebook yesterday.  Anything?  Really?

I just finished Defending Jacob and am haunted by its unexpected ending.  If anyone reading this post plans to read the book - WARNING - spoiler alert!

                  **************************************

The mom in the story realizes that her 14 year old son has committed two heinous murders of fellow teenagers that he will never be prosecuted or punished for, other than being suspected, loathed and feared for the rest of his life.  Serial murderer is sure to be his future occupation.  Her husband - who narrates the story - appears to be in denial, unable to confront the obvious.  She chooses to murder her son by driving both of them off an embankment and into a cement wall. 

Her last words to him - I love you.

The Iron Lady

I watched The Iron Lady - a "biopic" of Margaret Thatcher - last night.  The most fascinating part of the movie (warning: it moves slowly and cousin Larry slept through most of it) was not the tumultuous times she governed or her steadfast determination to do the "right thing" or her unprecedented rise to a position of power in a decidedly male-dominated government.   No, the most fascinating part of the movie was her relationship with her husband, an ongoing relationship that did not end with his death.

Oh yes, she was indeed sliding into dementia and oh yes, she did indeed know that he was in fact, dead.  But she continued to see him everywhere - at the breakfast table, lying next to her in bed, watching the latest events on the news.  She heard his advice and his musings on their past together.  He was still as real to her as he ever was.  (How can you determine that you are hallucinating if your hallucinations are real to you?)

When she finally accepted the truth and let him go she wished she had her illusions back.  I am sure dementia would be easier to take if your demented state was a happy place where your loved ones lived right alongside of you!

Small footnote: I agree with the critics who feel that this movie could have waited until the dear lady, 87 and still kicking, had passed away.

My Hebrew Name

A friend sent a link to an Aish site that lets you find your birthday in the Hebrew calendar and also tells you the meaning of your Hebrew name.  I am proud to carry the first name of my paternal grandmother, Eve Pachter Silverstein.  I'm not sure who the Rachel was for but I will dedicate it to the memory of my first cousin Rivka who perished in the Holocaust. And I am glad to have made the "risky" journey to Palestinian Bethlehem to pray at Rachel's Tomb.

Had I had a Bat Mitzvah I would have read the Torah portion expressing gratitude to God.  As this is something I do every day I do not feel that I missed anything by not reciting it at 12 or 13.

:-)

Yesterday

Yesterday was the proverbial "bad day".  I felt like one of those punching bags that keeps popping back up after taking repeated hits.

It started out with disaster (2 pounds higher!) on the scale (a result of gluttony at some of my favorite eateries with the kids and the cousins) and moved on from there.  I will spare you most of the sorry details Dear Diary except that I learned a dear soul, Al Simon, died Thursday night at 65.  He was slightly less than a friend but more than an acquaintance and I liked and respected him so much and looked forward to his witty insights at our periodic lunches.   That news was the final blow that flattened me.

So how did I react?  I scrubbed off my makeup and took to bed and declared myself officially "finished" for the day.  That was at about 4 pm.  At around 6 pm I had had enough of feeling sorry for myself and flipped the energy switch to "on".  I got dressed, fixed my hair and makeup, tidied up the house, grabbed hubby and went to Friday night services.  A great decision!  My beautiful 'happy place", seeing people I care about and welcoming Shabbat with candles, prayer and song turned my whole day around.

Today the scale is down to my "normal", one problem from yesterday has been resolved, and I am looking forward to a fun day with the cousins at the Festival and seeing the Doo-Wop All-Stars tonight at the Seminole Coconut Creek Casino. 

Take THAT punching bag!!  ;-)  

The Reed Audobon Shirt

Ann Romney sported this $990.00 designer shirt (The Reed Audubon Silk Shirt) on national television this week.  Let me just say this is not my particular taste but it did make me feel slightly less guilty about spending $74.00 on a (much cuter)tank top at the home shopping party last week.

I have not been a fan of animals on clothes ever since those little Izod alligators were all-the-rage.  I guess cute little teddy bears, turtles, bunnies and puppies are OK for (very little) kids.

I once had a t-shirt with a large cat face staring out from my chest.  The reaction of strangers was a little unsettling ;-)

If Ann Romney makes it to the White House, I hope she will not be wearing an American Eagle on her formal attire at State dinners ;-)

 

Defending Jacob

Woo hoo, the library is holding Defending Jacob (number 18 this week on the New York Times bestseller list) for me.  The premise is intriguing - a District Attorney must defend his 14 year old son for murder.  The father learns how really little he knows his teenage offspring, big surprise there.

It's scary to ponder what we might not know about people close to us.  I'm sure everyone has a secret or two (or a dozen) they would prefer the world not know.  This is obviously especially true of politicians! 

Last night, hubby told me that once during hurricane season his estranged brother called "to see if we were alive".  He knew I'd be upset so he didn't tell me.  I congratulated him on his good judgement.  I am not one who needs to know absolutely everything, hahaha.  I really think, deep down, that is true of everyone in every kind of relationship.

;-)

Kenny and Selma

Kenny and Selma, married for 72 years and living a few miles away in Tamarac, offer their advice (5 easy rules) on having a long and happy marriage to their grandson Michael.

Oviously great advice: be good to each other, save a few bucks, keep the house neat and clean and have food in the "frigidaire".  And although they touted the joys of "not arguing" it is obvious that bickering abounds at Kenny and Selma's place, hahaha.

OK, I'll throw in my own unsolicited advice (5 easy rules) based on 42 years of "experience".

1. Choose wisely
2. Laugh
3. Forget the bad stuff
4. Remember the good stuff
5. Kiss

Kenny and Selma's advice ends with a toast - Diet Coke it looks like ;-)

Hebrew Mamita

I received a link to a you tube video from good-guy Ron Sanders yesterday featuring the "Hebrew Mamita", Vanessa Hidary.  I have seen her comedy shtick before and truth-be-told it makes me wince a little.  In her own words she is a Crazy, Loud, Eccentric, Fiery, Passionate, Romantic, Stubborn, Angelic, Smart, Talented, Outlandish, Pulling your Fuckin' hair out, Wild Child Artist and in my words she is a bit over-the-top, proud Jewish woman with tons of chutzpah. She is also a little scary.

Her signature routine is about when an unsuspecting guy in a bar pays her an ill-advised back handed compliment about "not looking Jewish".  She takes this to mean "you might not be as undesirable as are other Jewish women".  Luckily for the poor shmuck, she controls her anger long enough for him to escape.

Hahaha you might think.  But I truly do ask myself this question - why do so many nice Jewish boys prefer to marry gentile girls?  I am not the only one who has noticed this phenomena, there are quite a few books and novels touching this theme.

Is it the forbidden fruit (like eating trefe)?   Are gentile girls more attractive with their softer features and lighter hair?   Are their expectations of their spouse and children lower?  Are Jewish girls simply more high maintenance?  Or worst of all, do we remind guys of their mothers?!? 

;-)