Bye-Bye 2011

I always do a lot of reminiscing at the end of a year.  And this year was incredible!  Never a dull moment!

Of course I say that every year. 

I think the creative folks at JibJab have put it together best, as usual.

Bye-Bye 2011!

Mystery Theater

Tonight is night out with friends Terri and Fred and we're going to see Sherlock Holmes 2.  I love mysteries and like movies set in other times and places but Sherlock Holmes 1 was a disappointment.  Maybe 2 will be better.


Speaking of mysteries, I own every Nero Wolfe book ever written (33) and have read each at least twice.  I love the settings, mostly New York City in the 30's, 40's and 50's.  Who dies of lockjaw these days?? (poo poo poo)

I saw a poster at the movies this weekend that said "One For The Money", Janet Evanovich's first Stephanie Plum book, is coming to the theater in a few weeks.  It's a little hard for me to fathom how this will be good since the funniest parts of the books are Stephanie's private observations.  Maybe they will have Katherine Heigl talking to herself?

In any case, I am 32nd in line for the newest in the series, Explosive Eighteen (audio of course).  Too bad the library only has 35 copies.

Come Watson, the game is afoot!

Kanaynahara

One of my favorite Yiddish expressions!  It  literally translates to three separate words: “no evil eye.”  I use this expression to ward off the evil eye resulting from my sudden realization that my loved ones are healthy, I still have a job, etc.  I also use “poo poo poo” (which is supposed to sound like spitting three times) in the exact same way. 

To assist in my efforts to ward off the evil eye and the subsequent destruction of all things good in my life, I wear these four bracelets ->

One was given to me by cousin Jeannie and one is from cousin Harvey (bought on our Israel trip).

There is a very old Jewish joke about a woman who asks a five year old, “What’s your name, sweetie?” and she answers, “Shayna maidelah (pretty little girl) poo poo poo.“

Hey, it can't hurt, can it?  ;-)

I'm OK - You're OK

When I was a freshman in college I took Psychology 101.  I learned that after you have your basic needs satisfied - food, shelter and sex - you can work on becoming "self actualized".  This basically translated into "getting your act together". 

The psycho-babble popular around that same time was "I'm OK, You're OK" which came from a book touting "transactional analysis".  I never read the book mainly because I figured all the good stuff was summed up in the title.

I have faithfully worked on becoming self-actualized since that time.  Finding the right career, haircut and diet plan were the "hard" parts, although truth-be-told, they were basically dumb luck. 

I'm still OK.

;-)

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

I saw the "Americanized" version of the Swedish movie adaptation of the book by the late* Swedish author Stieg Larsson.  I'm a little miffed that TPTB decided that "Americanizing" meant giving the heroine a slightly softer, more vulnerable side that I'm sure the author never envisioned. Lisbeth asking "permission" to kill the serial rapist torturer murderer? Thoughtfully buying an expensive present for her lover? Looking forlorn when she sees him with another woman? I think not.

There is of course nothing wrong with those qualities and indeed most women have them. I certainly do! But not Lisbeth Salander.

I must admit, I prefer the original version, subtitles and all.


* a heart attack at 50.  Who knows what great things his later years might have produced?

Family Feud

I've been playing a bit of iPhone Family Feud lately but I haven't seen this challenge: What things might a Jew do on Christmas?

Survey (one person) (me) says:

Carry home bagels from the deli

Catch up on household chores

Visit the Festival Market (South Florida Jewish tradition)

See a movie

Drive around and look at other people's decorated houses

Order Chinese food for dinner

And the number one answer is:
Go to bed early with the happy thought that tomorrow things will be back to normal

;-)

Miracles

It's Christmas, traditionally a time to celebrate Miracles.  I believe in Miracles.  I even believe in Christmas Miracles. 

Bagels & More

Everybody wants "a place where everybody knows your name" right?  If you don't drink it probably can't be a neighborhood bar like Cheers.  But if you like to get up early and have a bagel with a schmear and cup of plain old coffee and maybe schmooze with other old Yids and you happen to be in Hollywood Florida you can head for Bagels & More.

It's a tiny hole-in-the-wall, the tables are packed in close together, and the plates, eating utensils and coffee cups are all disposable.  The owner is a transplanted Israeli and the waitress is a zoftig bottle-blonde and there are free copies of the Jewish Journal and the IsraPost (published here in Hollywood) for your reading pleasure.  If you don't want to spring for a whole lox platter, they'll be happy to bring you a side strip of lox and a slice of raw onion.  The owner will also be happy to stop and chat about politics, especially Israeli politics.

And did I mention everybody knows your name?

Monica

Confession: I have always been on Monica Lewinsky's side.  I hated to see her roasted and ridiculed in the press. 


Who hasn't done really dumb or risky things when they were 21?  Or confided in the wrong person?  Here's a young woman, who, while attractive, may have had weight or boyfriend issues. She's now face-to-face (or hip-to-hip) with the Most influential people in the Most important center of power in the world.  She starts to feel a little powerful herself.  She probably thinks that these are the memories she will treasure when she is very old.  She envisions herself as Marilyn Monroe to Clinton's JFK.  I also believe she had no intention of spilling the beans voluntarily.

The President on the other hand was (duh) the frigging PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!  Plenty old enough to know better.  Theoretically wise enough to make smart decisions for the entire country if not the whole world.  I blame him and only him for ruining this young person's life.

Clean Slate

God-daughter Victoria tucked this little calendar in with the Chanukah presents and pictures of the grand-godkids.  I love it!  (She knew I would.)

A brand new calendar with 366 (2012 is a leap year) pages of possibilties bundled along with Jewish humor just in case some of those days are not going quite so wonderfully!

It's been said that Jews can laugh when we're suffering and cry when we're happy.  Since we have suffered so much for thousands of years we must be great at laughing!

;-)

Second Act

I found an interesting site - Yahoo Vitality - which features a bunch of videos called Second Act. The videos are "A Webby Award-winning series about real stories celebrating life, passion and reinvention". I admire anyone who re-invents themselves especially a little later in life. Losing weight, giving up smoking, changing careers or pursuing your lifelong-but-suppressed dreams is super admirable.

This is a picture of my Facebook friend Adrianne's new engagement ring.  Her other hand was shaking with joy so the picture is not real clear but you can see she is no spring chicken, she's older than me (if you can believe it).  Something about seeing that sign of new beginnings on her well worn hand brought tears to my eyes.

I have heard that after 60 you enter the phase of life called "The Third Third". This sounds to me like Act Three of a play, and Act Three usually means the plot all comes together and everything is revealed. We'll see...

Happy Chanukah!

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah and a great time to chuckle at the Chanukah Bloopers below! The first three I took myself at K-Mart so I know they're authentic and the last one (the ham) I verified with Snopes.com. 

Let us rejoice and be happy!

 

Jew or Not Jew

I learned about this fun website (it's an iPhone app too I think) called "Jew or Not Jew".  If you are easily amused, as I am, you can spend a lot of time there. 

The site does not simply tell you who is Jew and who is Goy. No, no, no! It RANKS you from 1 to 15 based on this criteria: We evaluate how Jewish a person is based on three factors. How Jewish they are internally, how Jewish they are externally and how much we want that person to be a Jew in the first place.

I will be honest, I never understood about "Jewish conversions".  By the most stringent definition of our customs and traditions, a person is not Jewish unless they are born of a Jewish mother.  I understand that Reform Jews are not gender biased and also consider a person Jewish if born of a Jewish father.  The most important caveat is that they do not renounce their Jewishness by accepting another religion. 

But if a person is not "born" Jewish, they are not precluded from living a Jewish life, adhering to our principles and practicing our traditions.  In that way they are "converted".  It is (at least according to me) not like a baptism where you are "once trefe, now kosher".

I think the website is on to something!  How much does that person want to be a Jew in the first place?

Parenting Skills

Here's an article that says every parenting style can produce disturbed, miserable adults!

Now that my oldest friends and cousins have grown children, I can see they did a pretty good job.  I am in awe of their accomplishments as parents.  I have always harbored the niggling fear that my own progeny would  have been neurotic and homely. 

The best adjusted and happiest adult children I know strangely enough did not have easy or picture-perfect families.  There might have been challenges in their childhood like divorce,  long parental absences, blended families or money troubles.  My godchildren are perfect examples.  They could have turned out so differently...

Perhaps love is really all you need?

I Enjoy Being A Girl

Dolly Does Too!  Here is (a portion of) her collection of designer Doggy Duds, all gifts from her doting Auntie Barbara.  This Chanukah she got the adorable raincoat and pretty dress with tigress applique and matching tigress collar (a girl does need jewelry to compliment her outfit).

Too bad the only thing she gets to wear is a bandanna now and then. I'm not sure I want her parading around in a t-shirt that says "Looking for Mr. Right"!

:-)

Feeling Better?

I was definitely feeling under the weather this week and am only now starting to do better.  When I'm sick I start believing maybe I will NEVER feel good again and maybe I am destined to move through life feeling terrible every day.  Poor Moi!

I'm sure everyone has their "feel better" remedies.  Chicken soup, comfort food, NyQuil, serious dosages of Tylenol and hot-and-sour soup are mine. 

Isn't is funny though, nothing works quite as well as a little sympathy and lots of kind words from friends and family!

;-)

A Plug for Audio Books

I like books but lately I have found that actually reading books is not so much fun.  This is because my schedule only allows for a few minutes of reading a day, usually at night right before bedtime.  After a few pages I instantly slip into the coma-like state I call sleep.  At that rate, it takes me forever to finish a book and plus it is chopped up into impossibly small pieces.

A few years ago a friend suggested I try audio books.  At the time I was commuting to work 28 miles each way plus I wandered around at lunchtime, thus providing plenty of time to listen to an audio book.  Listening to a book is wonderful!  It's like having someone read you a story and they're also like plays or TV shows because they're acted out in several voices and maybe even with suspenseful music or sound effects.

I just finished V is for Vengeance and am well into Zero Day, both best sellers provided free of charge by the County Library.  But the funny thing is that I can  listen to books I could never, ever get through if I had to actually read them.  Would you believe I listened to all 752 pages of the biography of John Adams??  I did indeed. 

;-)

Every Girl is Entitled

Yes every girl is entitled to a bunch of stuff but this handy self-help book from 1964 promised that what you are entitled to is a Husband.  I shutter to think how much it may have influenced me in those impressionable years!

It starts out by giving the reader a pep talk on why it's better to be married (you can toss the girdle, padded bra and high heels) and moves on to warn against going all-the-way before the ring is on your finger (the old "why buy the cow when the milk is free").  In all fairness, those are not the only reasons she gives for securing a spouse and many are still relevant almost 50 years later.

I heard a statistic yesterday that said single people may soon be the majority in this country, down from 75% married awhile back.  Perhaps it's time for an updated edition??

;-)

Never Again

Hate crimes still exist.  In Hollywood Florida.  Just blocks from home.  To a store I have patronized and to a person I know. 

I have a little necklace from that store. A Jewish star that you can pull apart so that it looks like a string of tiny butterflies.  I also saw it for sale at the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C.  Why does it pull apart?  So you can quickly hide that you are wearing a symbol that says you are Jewish.  Because hate, as well as hate crimes, still exists.

I learned at Yad Vashem that Jews tolerated hatred, ridicule and acts of violence - like the one at Holyland Judaica - until those crimes escalated to mass murder.  Never again!

J.A.P.

My late BFF gave me the J.A.P. handbook in 1982.  It's one of two "self help" guides I kept from decades ago.  The other one definitely deserves a post of it's own.

The handbook has helpful tips on how to convert the names of your deceased relatives - Yankel, Itzak, Tzipkah or Golda - into modern "equivalents" like Connor, Aiden, Tiffany and Giselle and how to rip your clothes and wail should your child plan to marry a shiksa or sheygetz.  There are also tips on nose jobs, buying wholesale and planning the bar mitzvah or wedding of the century.

I do get my nails done every two weeks but I realize I have a long way to go to reach my full potential!

Tangerine Tango

I may be an old broad but I do keep my eye on the latest hot trends.  You know you are getting older (I refuse to say "old") when you gasp audibly at the latest fads and wonder what the younger generation is coming to.

The latest hot color for 2012 (according to whoever decides these things) is Tangerine Tango.  Yippee, something I can get on board with.  You can see from this picture that I am way ahead of the curve on this one.  I do like those cheery coral hues and even a tiny bit of Mango Mambo (along with the Tangerine Tango) in my closet or on my nails.

But I think I'll take a pass on the au-courant ruffled mini-skirts and 6 inch heels!

;-)

The Neighbors

Like in most modern urban habitats, the neighbors are mostly a mystery.  But sweet Dolly knows them all!  Tofu, Dash, Bandit, Shandel, Mendel, Leo, Nate, Becca and Phoebe - they are all her buddies.  Adorable Gucci can wiggle under the fence from the house catercorner to ours and he visits Dolly regularly.  A few times he has even slipped through Dolly's Doggy Door and I've found him sitting on the living room rug.

Our neighborhood is filled with dog lovers and you can meet them while strolling with your pooch and of course you instantly have something in common to chat about.  Three dogs live next door to the right and three live next door to the left.  The three to the left belong to Snowbirds and just like me, Dolly looks forward to winter visitors. 

When I was little I thought the best neighborhood would look like the one in Lady and the Tramp - well kept homes with lush landscaping and welcoming streetlights and happy dogs who talked to each other.  There is no Victorian Gingerbread here but everything else is perfect.

;-)

No Longer An Option

In 1992 I quit a good job that I had for ten years to make a career move.  I got a little more money and a lot more responsibility and fabulous work experience I would never have had if I had stayed in my old job.  This experience served me well and without it I probably would not be where I am today in my career.

You better believe I was scared! It's awfully hard to give up a "sure thing".  As it turned out, the "sure thing" was not so sure after all because the large company I was with simply decided to fold up shop a few years later and I would have had to find a new job anyway.  At the time, I could not imagine that happening.

You know what helped?  This little Mary Engelbreit cartoon.  I looked at it every day and actually bought a wristwatch that had it on the watch face so I would see it often.  (I still have that watch.)  It reminded me that once you make a decision, for better or for worse, you have to move ahead. Perhaps the decision did not work out exactly in the way you expected it to but other unexpected good things came from it.

How did Robert Frost put it? Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

Games

I used to play Zynga games like Cafe World and Petville and Farmville before I realized my mind was going and that playing with myself is not as much fun as it sounds.

I have always wanted to learn to play a card game.  My goal was to have a group of friends that I could play and socialize with.  The closest I ever came was playing a bit of Pinochle in college for awhile. 

A few years back my friend Jennifer decided a group of us ladies should get together and play Bridge.  A highly civilized game requiring thought and skill.  The ladies she picked were all like me, intelligent (theoretically) successful (debatable) professional women.  We hired a real live teacher (actually there were two of them), scheduled weekly get-togethers at each other's homes, bought books and practiced during the week.  Do you think any of us could master even basic Bridge?  Heck no!  After months of trying we gave it up.

I got a "kit" (chips, cards and an instruction pamphlet) a few years ago on Texas Hold-em Poker.  The entire world seems to know how to play this so really, how hard can it be??  I am trying to learn by practicing and observing in online games. 

Will keep you posted  ;-)

Wardrobe Malfunction

Back in the 80's I took the advice of John Molloy and seriously pursued "Dressing for Success".  The original 1977 "Woman's Dress for Success" handbook still rests on my bookshelf (there have since been many, many newer editions).  I didn't spend a whole lot of money and I bought at least half of my stuff "gently worn" at consignment shops.  But dressing well for work was a priority and I honestly believe it helped me move up in my career.  Or at least it helped me "fake it until I could make it".

About five years ago I decided that retirement might be in the near future and I stopped buying high heels, pantyhose and suits.  As a result my work wardrobe became sadly forlorn.  I let stuff deteriorate to the point where fallen hems were held by safety pins and magic-mend-it tape (and even staples!) and the heels on my shoes were so worn as to cause me to walk crooked. 

I've now shlepped the "best" of my stuff to the dry cleaner and have properly hemmed everything (something every short woman in America knows how to do).  Worthy leather high heels are at the shoe repair.  Stuff that is past-its-prime is in the trash.

Mr. Molloy, I hope I've done you proud!

Team Evelyn

It's Monday morning and here's my team ready again for another week of work.  I am fond of all of them and they probably deserve a better boss than me.

Of course they do drive me up a wall sometimes.  Like this morning when Alessandro said he thought I was just saying "wouldn't it be nice" to have his assignment done by Friday (last week).  I guess he thought Friday did not really mean Friday and instead meant "whenever".

The funny thing is that it was "almost" done and when I held my breath until I turned blue he produced a deliverable that far exceeded my expectations.  Go figure.

Working for me are two Colombians, an Italian, two generic white folks, a Russian, a Trinidadian and three African Americans.  A good cross section of our South Florida melting pot.

And incidentally, the best folks I've ever worked with.

:-)

Herman Cain

He's gone and I for one surely won't miss him.  Not because I disagreed with him entirely, more because I just knew he was way over his head in thinking he could function as President Of The United States (POTUS).  We really need someone who knows what they're doing.  Perhaps having a "Washington Insider" is not the worst thing that can happen.

That said, Herman Cain did provide something the country desperately needs - inspiration.  He had the power (personality) to catch people's attention and he provided what folks could latch onto as a "solution" (the 9-9-9 idea).  Much the same way "Hope and Change" caught on four years ago. 

This election I am truly Hoping for Inspiration.  And of course, Change too...

The Piano

I had forgotten all about the piano.  There were actually two pianos - the mahogany one in my grandparent's house and the blond Wurlitzer (bought used) in my parent's house.   There is a good reason that I had forgotten them.  I hated the piano!  Thinking about it again really sent me into a downer!

Mom loved to play the piano and of all the things we could have used money for when I was young, she insisted on piano lessons for me.  After about a year of me never practicing even the piano teacher, Miss Papadopoulos, agreed it was a lost cause.

In the last years of her life, Mom's one wish was to play the piano again.  I bought her a keyboard and she seemed to enjoy it although she was frustrated that her old skills did not return to her easily.

To this day I remain tone deaf and music is far down my list of pleasurable pursuits.

:-/

Presents

Since this is officially "the season of giving" I've been reflecting on some of the best presents I've ever received.

Most were not flowers or jewelry or things you could buy in a store (or online).  They were words, simply stated and from the heart.  Maybe written on a card or spoken out loud or even sent in an email.  My most precious possession has words engraved on a plaque.

My presents are stored in my heart where I can easily take them out when I need to use them. They never wear out and they mean more and more as time goes by.

Blog-versary

Wow! Today is December 3rd and that marks four months of blogging and 121 posts (counting today's). And that's with taking almost two weeks off to visit Israel.

I've printed out all my posts and they fill a loose leaf notebook.  There are several "table of contents" pages as well. 

I am actually quite proud of myself!  I think the entries are pretty good.  At the very least they are a nice record of my thoughts on a variety of things that flitted across my mind in the last four months. 

Who would have thought I had that much to say?

;-)

City Blues

Can a City actually be sad?  Apparently so.  Here's are the top ten saddest cities from a recent article in Men's Health magazine:

St. Petersburg, FL  (the saddest) (are you kidding??)
Detroit, MI 
Memphis, TN 
Tampa, FL
Louisville, KY 
St. Louis, MO 
Birmingham, AL 
Miami, FL  
Reno, NV  
Las Vegas, NV

Of course this is BS.  Some dude or dudette with a looming deadline and writer's block must have made this up.  It is physically impossible to feel too bad when the sun is shining and warm and the sky is blue and beautiful flowers and foliage abound and the air is fresh and breezes come off the ocean.  If I have to be poor, sick, old, unemployed and/or depressed, I think I would rather be poor, sick, old, unemployed and depressed in Florida.

So where are the so-called "happier" cities?  Honolulu is Number 1.  I guess I can understand that although I hear the cost of living there is in the stratosphere.  But come on! Don't tell me Jersey City is Number 18 !

;-)

HULU

I checked out HULU, the online TV service that promises to deliver 16,000 episodes right to your PC!

How did I ever miss such such masterpieces as Balls of Steel, The Prince of Tennis, Celebrity Deathmaster, Basketball Wives or Testees??

In all fairness, I do see some great oldies and series that never-got-a-fair-chance (that means stuff I liked).

There are also Japanese and Korean shows and other foreign offerings. It is a bit amusing to see what other cultures think are meaningful plot lines. I offer as an example Couple Fantasy - the story of "Anna Jo, a Korean-American and the daughter of big-time real estate mogul Richard Jo, who boards a plane for Korea after becoming annoyed by the weather in New York".

I am pretty sure that perusing the HULU gallery is equally as entertaining as actually watching most of the shows!

:-)