Ten Annoying Questions

Jews News published "Ten Annoying Questions That Almost Every Jew Has Been Asked Before".  Hardly anyone has ever asked me anything about being Jewish (although I do get questions on the meaning of some of my jewelry and the mezuzas on our walls) mainly because they are too polite or feel uncomfortable. As the only Jewish family in our neighborhood of Church going folks who have had little previous exposure to Jews, I'm sure they wonder about us a bit.

Here's my answers to the questions which, I must admit, I would NOT find "annoying" at all should someone ask.

1. Are both your parents Jewish? YES

2. Are your circumcised? NO, BUT HUBBY IS.

3. Do you celebrate Christmas? NO

4. Can you speak Jewish?  
I CAN'T SPEAK EITHER HEBREW OR YIDDISH BUT I KNOW LOTS OF YIDDISH WORDS TO MIX IN WITH MY ENGLISH.

5. Is there a Jewish Church here? 
YES BUT WE CALL THEM EITHER TEMPLES OR SYNAGOGUES.
 
6. So what do you think about ___ going on in Israel? 
WHATEVER _____IS GOING ON IN ISRAEL, I SUPPORT ISRAEL WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

7. So what do you believe about Jesus? 
THE CENTRAL AND MOST IMPORTANT PREMISE OF JUDAISM IS THAT THERE IS ONE GOD AND ONE GOD ONLY. THEREFORE I BELIEVE WHOEVER OR WHATEVER JESUS WAS, HE IS/WAS NOT DIVINE.

8. How do you get that little hat to stay on your head? 
MANY MEN WITH THINNING HAIR OR ACTIVE LIVES USE BOBBY PINS OR HAIR CLIPS.

9.Did any of your family die in the Holocaust? 
YES, MY AUNT GITTEL, HER HUSBAND AND THEIR DAUGHTER, MY FIRST COUSIN, RIVKA, AND MANY MORE DISTANT RELATIVES. MAY THEIR MEMORIES BE FOR BLESSING.

10. So you can't eat pork?
 I CAN AND OCCASIONALLY DO BECAUSE I AM A REFORM, NOT ORTHODOX, JEW. BUT IT IS NOT WHAT I BUY, ORDER FROM A MENU, OR CHOOSE FROM THE BUFFET LINE.

These were easy. Now ask me something harder!

;-)