2059

Friend-of-Friend Gil sent me an email with "Headlines from 2059", meant to be humorous of course.  Check them out at the bottom, in italics.

I have to say, some do not seem totally outside the realm of some kind of possibility.  Of all of them, here are ten I think we'll see (OK so I probably won't be around for my 110th birthday but maybe someone else will see them).

1.  Spanish WILL be recognized as the USA's second language for legal purposes, at least in Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and Florida.

2.  Whites WILL be a very small minority and racial lines will be so blurred that "race" as a concept will be almost non-existent.

3.  Another Bush and/or Clinton WILL run for President.

4.  Smoking tobacco will be in the same category as smoking marijuana today - done in secrecy.

5.  Yes indeed, postal delivery will be only a few times a week.

6.  Taxes WILL go up.

7.  Americans WILL be fatter.

8.  Castro WILL live to 112.

9.  Diet and exercise will still be the only way to lose weight.

10. Floridians will still have trouble voting ;-)

From Gil:

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.  

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. 

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .    

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. 

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with  only 3 illegitimate children.  

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2060. 

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.