Things I Like

After all these years I think I know myself pretty well. 

I like (and not necessarily in this order)

Peace and quiet
Stable investments (CDs)
Great bargains
Stay-cations
The local library
Cruising
Netflix DVDs
Bubble baths
Small cars
A clean house
Blue jeans
Hugs
The golf cart
Good movies
Frozen yogurt
Aldi's
A great mystery book
Thrift shops
Maj Jong with friends
A joy ride to nowhere special
Dinner with friends
Clean hair
Favorite TV shows 
A fresh mani
Cute shoes
An afternoon nap

;-)

Dead To Me

I read this article - the father of Kate and Oliver Hudson has disowned them  They are "dead" to him. The children call Father's Day "Abandonment Day". Obviously there are deep wounds on both sides.

Oh yes, I truly understand this all too well. I do NOT forgive the reprehensible person in my husband's family who caused a deep, horrible, devastating heartache to be visited upon us. It has been over ten years and the pain still feels as real as a gunshot.

So I am attuned to others with estranged parents, children or siblings. What should be the closest of bonds can very well be frayed beyond repair. 

Yet on some level I am OK with this. Any person who does not provide us with support or at the very least, kindness and respect, deserves to be cut from our world. We need to pay attention to our own needs and sanity. The best way to deal with betrayal is go on to lead what Oprah calls "our best lives". 

Oh and change our wills!

;-)

Big Phony

It seems that Rachel Dolezai, a very white lady, has been "passing for black" and reaping "rewards" like scholarships, preferential consideration for employment and a leadership position at the NAACP.  The kindest explanation is that she has so identified with the black community, her black husband and children, and her civil rights advocacy that she somehow "forgot" she is white.

One argument is that if Caitlyn Jenner can "chose" to be a woman, can't we "chose" with whom we identify and how we identify ourselves?

I have long had mixed feelings about Jewish conversions. Deep in my heart, I do not altogether believe one can chose to actually "be" Jewish. 

Oh yes, one can follow Jewish customs and religious traditions with no conversion necessary. And I definitely feel that if you marry a Jewish spouse you can raise Jewish children (although empirical evidence seems to point to many of those children dropping their Jewish identity later in life). But I have my doubts that you can actually decide to be Jewish and thus become Jewish.

Do I sound elitist?  I really don't mean to. But I feel one is born Jewish, as a descendant of our Patriarchs and Matriarchs. If you are such a grandchild, you do not have to believe in the religious aspects of Judaism to remain a Jew (unlike Christians who must have faith and believe). I am of the opinion that being Jewish is a result of our race and ethnicity as well as our religion and customs. 

Just like Rachel cannot chose to be African-American (no matter how closely she identifies with them), one cannot just decide they want to be a Member of the Tribe. Sorry...

Oh Happy Day

Someone else's root canal

After my second full root canal on the same tooth, I am hoping and praying my dental nightmare is finally over. 

The stock market was finally up big time yesterday which means the collective consensus is that the world as we know it will not end. 

Two folks whose opinions I trust on all matters Judaica praised my draft of the Friday night sermon I'll be giving next month. And I have faith that some of my other (small) recent concerns will get resolved or at least get better.

Scott and family plus his in-laws (love them!) will be staying with us for a week soon. Life will be fun and hectic. A wonderful cruise to some of my favorite ports-of-call is only about a month away. I have wonderful fun things planned for today and next week.

Pain, even slight pain that seems to never end, can cause one's world to be blacker and more dismal than it really is . Pain overshadows all the good things. I am so hoping my pain is gone for good and I can get back to doing the things I love.

;-)

Flavor Infused

When I find a great product I am not ashamed to tell the world about it! And I have found something really really good - Swanson "Flavor Infused" broths. They are SOO Good!

There are two beautiful things about these guys - which in addition to the ones shown in the picture also include Louisiana Cajun and Tuscan Chicken:

1. You can make wonderful dishes with these super easily. I threw in some rice, onion, shrimp and andouille sausage into the Louisiana Cajun and I made the best Jambalaya/Gumbo (at least according to my own taste)! I can't wait to try the Hot and Sour with some bean sprouts and mushrooms. The hardest part of making my favorite meals is already done for me.

2. The low calorie count of each is absolutely amazing. At only 15 calories a cup the Mexican Tortilla boasts "the robust flavors of monterey jack cheese, lime, cayenne pepper, cumin, toasted corn, jalapeno and paprika". I thought I was sipping a much richer creamier soup. Delicious! 

I am so happy I found these guys on the shelf. They are all welcome and here to stay.

;-)
   

Grief

Today is the 9th anniversary of my BFFs passing.  As I vowed at my eulogy to her, I miss her everyday and always will.

Sheryl Sandberg just finished the period of sheloshim, the 30 days of mourning, for her husband David Goldberg.  Her essay on grief and grieving is beautiful and gives truly practical advice.

To honor my BFF I will try and remember these most meaningful lessons:

Lesson No. 1: Choose to find meaning in your life.

Lesson No. 2: It’s not going to be OK — and that, in itself, is OK.

Lesson No. 3: Ask for help.

Lesson No. 4: You can become more resilient.

Lesson No. 5: Don’t take anything for granted. Practice gratitude.

Lesson No. 6: “Kick the shit out of option B.”

I am grateful for my beautiful, loving, generous friend who was by my side with unconditional love for 40 years. I miss you everyday and always will.

Call Me Caitlyn

Today I put on a pair of tan shorts that I haven't worn for quite awhile and thought "wow these are cute" and I should move them up to the top of my stack of shorts. I selected my new top that's a pretty soft beige and rose floral print and decided it looks terrific with the shorts. Then I chose my cute cream colored t-strap Skechers - perfect! I checked the paper for fashion ads even though there is nothing I need. I put on my makeup but decided eyeliner was too much work (I was in a hurry) and opted for an extra coat of mascara instead. I picked up a suspense novel with a female heroine that was held for me at the library and then off to Maj Jong with my gal pals. While waiting for the doors to the Maj room to open I chatted with two strangers who complimented me on my handbag and we spent several minutes discussing its finer features, practicality and provenance (the flea market). Back home I shmoozed with a friend about her upcoming face lift, shaved my legs, decided on a nail color for my appointment tomorrow (mulberry) and relaxed in a deep bubble bath followed by my fluffy pink robe.

It occurred to me how many of my daily activities are girly pursuits. How strange it would be for me not to be able to do these things that I hardly register as being feminine. 

Just like me, Caitlyn Jenner is a 65 year old woman who also loves these simple activities of life. Unlike me, Caitlyn Jenner has only been able to do them freely and openly for a short while. How hard that must have been for her.

So I wish her all the best in her new life. Like many others, I can't wait to get to know her.

;-)